Oh! That’s Why

Destiny- A topic so hot for discussion, I must have heard it at least once every week throughout my life (and it is no exaggeration) . And like the title says, each one of us have (maybe just) once (but) definitely given this a thought.

And especially, in a culture like mine, in India, ‘taqdeer’, ‘qismat’, ‘bhagya’ and such terms are used  all around. And since my stay in the village I have been hearing it all the more often, that wring this article became a compulsion!

When a 19 year old boy failed to clear his standard 10^th examination, in the third attempt even (because he did not work hard, of course!), his nani very lovingly said, “uski taqdeer mein nahi hai’- “it’s not in his destiny”.

When a lady had a chance to move to the city with her kids so they would receive good education; she denied, saying, “Now my destiny is here, for I was married here and so, I will live here with my children…hope their kids have better ‘qismat’.

And so on and so forth all day long…

Another very annoying thing that I have heard is by the village men- almost 60 percent of them are jobless- and those that have work such as farms- they don’t work hard enough or have shops, they don’t open for at least 4 days in a week! I don’t know how they fail to realize, even a stupid person could tell they were being lazy.

So, they are lazy, barely work and so barely have money and the comforts money brings along. They live meagerly and very conveniently repeat these lines once everyday for themselves, and for people like me when they are questioned – “this much is our destiny. What God has to give, He will. We are not the greedy types- we have faith in our Lord.”

They say this with the most sincere face, the grave eyes and preachy voice- that anyone who heard would agree. As for me, I would initially sit alone, start reevaluating my wants, priorities, desires…

But now, (and I am grateful for it) I go and add another thing in my list of ‘things- to-do’, every time I hear someone like that, say those line.

I hope I have made it clear what people associate with the word ‘destiny’ here.

Failure, laziness (on the person’s part) = Destiny (blame it on God!)

I know and it is my firm belief (aqeedah) that destiny whether good or bad is from my Lord. I know that success, failure, riches, wisdom and everything I would ever want to achieve is written and I will only get that which is due to me. And none besides my Lord can provide me with it.

But what I am most thankful for is that I do NOT know what is in my destiny. I do not know how much, from where is due to me. I do not know what I will have to go through to achieve it.

And thus, I plan, work, strive and persevere to achieve what’s in my destiny and together also get with it- a meaning, a purpose and satisfaction, that comes along.

As a human, we are born with a great intellect, freewill- how can one live life like the cattle around!? In fact, even the grazing cattle moves to the greener patch in an attempt to get better grass. Sometimes it gets, sometimes it is shooed, but it does go, every time!

As a famous saying goes, “Tie your camel, and have faith in Allah.”

You cannot leave your camel untied for it to stray away and blame destiny for loosing it. If it is not for you, you will loose it either way, but do as a man with some intelligence would and destiny will do what it would.

Here, I am reminded of the joke of the drowning man who refused help saying, “My lord will save me” and drowns; and God says to him, “were those boats and help from someone besides!?”

Exactly my point in a nutshell- Opportunities, youth, strength, intelligence and more were given to us by your Lord. He made this huge planet with all it’s bounties for man. If there are high mountains, it is accompanied by deep valleys. There are green fields and deep oceans. If He really was to put the destined morsel of food in the mouth, why would He create all this? Wouldn’t a flat world with huge walls all around be more apt?

But He did not.

Then why these walls of ignorance all around with laziness at its centre? How can anyone pack their failure away with the card labeled, “Destiny.”??

In my very first blog post I had written that my BA exams were hopefully my final encounter with the University of Mumbai…(and I am still continuing with those prayers everyday!)

I ventured out again today to the long lost campus of the University ready to beg, borrow or steal what was due to me at least 2 months back! My convocation degree- I need it ‘urgently’ and that is one word they have skipped in their dictionary and instead put ‘lunch break’ twice( I am very sure)

I arrived there at about 11 am and was made to go around the campus for the next one hour until I finally reached the correct building, the correct floor and the correct room! (I thought of a business venture to give bicycles for hire inside the campus, could make real money!!)

Got there, waited, sat, stood, spoke politely, yelled at a few…answered questions of why I want to go, where, when, how…. Assured a few that I would not forget them when I got my work done…( I don’t even know what that means!?) And finally got my degree at 3 pm- exactly the time, when offices close and no one is available to attest them. “ Come again tomorrow!” How Welcoming!! But frankly, and most sincerely WHY!!

It was a five minute thing- A Mr. Somebody, (who everyone referred to as “Sir saying…so we giving. Go talk to him”) signed my request letter and I got it.  And the most frustrating part is that everything they do is made to look as if they just did a life-saving favor for you! As I walked my triumphant walk down the hallway and out the campus they all (right from the enquiry guy to the rickshaw driver who took me around the campus) looked and nodded as if meaning to say “it’s okay, it’s okay… we like to do odd favors from time to time!”

I had left home listening to Fireflies and Vanilla Twilight and returned home listening to Linkin Park. I venture out again tomorrow for the attestation, will sync Nine Inch Nails to my ipod tonight.

Much of what is lost,

Was but a thing that would decay,

Time will heal the pain of loss,

Memories will turn to myth one day…

Yourself in the mirror when you face,

Rejoice in knowing this-

Sold you not your soul,

Character and hope none can steal…

Grieve not O’ Heart,

Thou hast me still.

- Thy Faith.

This little incident happened in class today and I couldn’t help smiling about it all day.

It is a rather small event but marks a milestone in my efforts with the little students in the village school. Before I tell you about it though, you’ll have to learn new vocabulary. The local (Bhojpuri) term for fast is “haali” and “likha” means “write”.

Now, here goes. As all kids, the ones here are always in a rush to complete work as soon as possible. And used the term haali too often with one another. All these days I corrected and taught them to say “fast” as in, to “write fast”, “come fast”, etc.

And then today in class a kid said, “ haali likha!” But before I could correct, another student said, “No, say Fast”, and then another one said…. “No fast… Write Fast!”

The kids are finally learning to relate words with the things they see around and use them too! And best of all, their favorite sentence and the one oft repeated is, “Teacher, I know full English!” (Well yes, at that I too can’t help but LOL!

In my second year of college, I was a part of a campaign called ‘Batti Bandh’. We put up slogans and held talks, spreading awareness on the importance of conserving electricity. And a part of this was also the event of switching off all power points for an hour on a certain day. This event slowly spread across Mumbai and the issue did get a lot of attention.

And now in the village, we have electricity supply for a maximum of eight hours everyday. And if the weather’s bad (by that I mean strong wind, excessive heat) that too is given a skip!
News of someones field getting all burnt up due to a spark leakage from a faulty wiring and acres of standing grain getting burnt to the ground is common, just as power theft and overloading is!!

It is ironic how (within the same country) I have moved from one place where people were requested to turn off power supply for an hour once every year to the place where people plead for as little as eight hours of electricity everyday!!

There is a desperate shortage of electricity here….or the power dept. is a major supporter of Batti Bandh!

*Batti- Hindi for Electricity
Bandh- to turn off.

What’s customer service, when you have to hire a security guard who stands at the gate allowing only a certain number of people into the bank? (“there’s only place for so much”)

I was at one of the branches of the State Bank of India the other day and here’s what I witnessed:

It is cramped; probably 100 or so people in space enough for just 40. I have been waiting for my turn for the past 30 minutes, just like the rest. And in comes this woman, looking all flustered and walks directly to the lady at the deposit counter- “I have to deposit this cash, I had taken my coupon, but the number has passed as I had to rush to the hospital for some urgent work.” (In a rather demanding loud voice)

“Sorry madam, you will have to take the coupon again and wait for your turn…it will be unfair to all the others”

“But I told you, it was an emergency and look, you are here to help the customers and I don’t know all this stupid bank business alright? So will you just help me out here? I have to rush back”

And it continued until one of the customers standing there stood up and said “You can have my coupon and I will go get another one.”

The lady gave a few words of advice to the bank, (you know how…) deposited the cash and left.

My turn finally arrives and as I am standing there waiting for my transaction to complete- in walks another woman and comes to the counter- “Hi, I am in an emergency, could you please deposit this cash, I have to rush to pick my kid up from his school and it’s very late, please…”(in a rather begging tone, with quit a few “please”) The woman at the counter replied, “Alright, wait for two minutes, I’ll do it.”

India’s leading national bank…you have to give some service to get their customer service!!

Just when you think you have it figured, reality strikes.

We come to know through the study of developmental psychology that children at an early stage in life have the concept of all good/all bad for people and things.

And then slowly as they grow the understanding that a single person could be good and otherwise too, begins to take root. The smiling, loving care giver can also get angry; the friend who plays along can also hurt. This is seen as an important milestone in development.

But maybe somewhere, this idea of all good/ all bad does not entirely leave us. Why else would it be that expectations start forming and a rude remark from a friend hurts more than from a stranger?

  We meet people, some are remembered some lost in oblivion. Those that we like, we become friends with. We look for good qualities in them. What about them attracts us? Their words, ideas, look etc…their white side. The twirl of which shows us colors of the rainbow.

And then there are people we don’t approve of. Their look, ideas, words do not match ours. Their concept of good and bad; life and living are different. The dark areas of our life? Pushed far away they look plain black.

But surprise, surprise!! The good friend fails at something you expected, is not just the colors you so far pictured. And someone out of the dark turns out quite different- shines like a star on a day with heavy rain.

Gray People: Precisely the shade we all are. Good at certain things, not so much at others. “Wonderfully perfect” for some; “Got a lot to learn” for others. We are all, black and white together.

Seeing the grays and learning to pick the whiter shades – Smart Living.

Here, I have described just one of the many trips I took while in UP. Each venture out of the school, for even little things like internet connection (it was at a three hour drive, mind you) would turn out to be an adventure.  Political rallies, detour at regular intervals are a part of daily commuting.

Frustration personified…

It’s spooky, the driver’s hungry, there are basically just potholes-one after another that makes- (what they call) the road! The dry, parched fields on either side and large wide shrubs and bushes growing wildly, entering the open car window.  The moon’s high up in the sky, the sound of wolves in some distant field. Flashes of torchlight every few minutes…

And then just as you turn a corner, there! Dim lights, blaring Bhojpuri songs and random people sitting together in groups- smoking or talking loudly. They are the people who want to defy the village custom of sleeping early, and so this is their city adaptation of the market place. The village kids going to these markets call them “bumbai!” Totally bumbed me! LOL.

And here’s a funny part… We are returning home, my dad and I. It’s 8.30 pm, conditions as mentioned above. I have traveled this part quite a few times lately. Now concentrate on the part ‘the driver’s hungry’…. So as we turn from the loud, annoying Bhojpuri music to take the road home deep in a village. The driver takes another road cut through the fields.

Dad inquired and  he says this road is better, with fewer bumps. Turns out, totally the opposite! After passing through the fields, and a canal and fighting quite hard to keep as still as possible to avoid tumbling over, we reach a house that belonged to the cook who would have food ready for our hungry driver on his way home. So all this for reminding the cook he’d be there in half an hour for his dinner. The cook barely looked up from the mobile phone(?!) he was talking on, but simply nodded, as another bump…

Running the school administration and my stay in the village has been an eye opener. Seeing people struggle, debate and quit at things I considered obvious and, “what’s there to ask in it?” comes as a surprise and the realization that indeed we have a long way to go.

Take Education- its food, clothing, shelter and basic education is a necessity for life. Isn’t it? And then- I heard from a local girl, who I was helping with English for her upcoming tenth grade exams- “I a not giving my exams, no need to study.”

“Why?!”

“My brother says “The exam centre is not my own school, so there is no need to go. What is the need to study, and besides we have already let you go to school, how does exam matter? You don’t have to go show your degree anywhere!”

And that was the end of discussion. She couldn’t say anything to her “older, wiser” brother. And the parents too were- “He knows the world, he has seen it. Maybe it’s better this way.”

Then I spoke to the girl’s mother and realizing how helpless she was, I asked my dad to speak to the girl’s father. After talking to him all my father could say was, “They are really stubborn, but after this, they may send her for the exams as the son is going to the city in a couple of days.”

The girl however, was more than pleased at the idea of not having to give the exams. Even if she would give, it would only be a temporary solution. A permanent remedy for the people’s mindset…urgently needed.

This is the day I finally realized the magnitude of my work- teaching children where education is not even considered important enough for an extra half an hour drive from home to school.

I have only kindergartners in my school right now. I have time to prevent something like this happening to the tiny tots I’m teaching. And that is the day I resolved the number one agenda for my school would be to develop an interest and love for learning. If I could ensure that in the early couple of years they were in my school…I could be at rest, knowing that they will fight odds to learn. And for that I started using the method of teaching which focused on creating curiosity among the children.