Oh! That’s Why

The first step in any meeting, any communication is building a rapport. If you begin right, there is a high chance you will succeed in achieving your goals or at least, begin with the ball in your court.

I was to meet 30 or more women from the village and had to engage them in an hour long conversation, talking about their kids, my school- our future. Here are a few points I put to use:

1. A genuine face (Grabs Attention) – I did not write smile because it sometimes works to frown. However, most times you are happy or glad at the meeting, so smile. Be genuine.

I started the meeting with a straight face, apologizing for the half hour delay on behalf of the women who arrived late and then a small anecdote on time. They now knew I wanted to talk facts, not just please. We were on track. However, I started my speech with that, I had entered smiling broadly- happy to see so many turn up!

2. Background study (Develops confidence which shows) – It sure goes a long way knowing the people you are about to face. It is ideal in a client meeting/ hiring process, though you can make it work in all situations.

Like, in the school meeting, I could not possibly gather information about the families/parents so I did this- As each parent settled down, I handed them books of their children to go through with an adjective best describing each child. I had prepared before. Thus, we immediately connected, because it turned out, their child was shy/ creative/ caring at home as well!!

3. A line about the weather/ latest news (Helps break the ice) – Sometimes, a little small talk helps in a big way to set the ground for further serious discussions. Of course you have to know and judge the people you are interacting with, but hey! We’ve discussed background study for that!

These are a few pointers I made after trying them at the school meeting and at other interactions. Each meeting/ communication is with a different purpose, however, the beginning of all can be similar- ‘good’ on your part!

That friend you needed now, is gone too far away

And all you have is me

And the green fields and the trees.

And all that you can do, is see me all anew

Cuz times a passing by,

And every whispered sigh,

Escapes the earth for high.

Watch rainbows in the sky,

Or birds that fly above,

Be they eagles or the doves.

And flowers will still do bloom,

And seasons- shine or gloom,

Will all thus pass you by.

Like the friend you needed now…

All you have is me,

And the green fields and the trees.

The first admission I gave to a little boy from the village- When he entered my office, I was sitting at the table with the forms all neatly arranged in front of me, my excel sheet open for entering the data, and I smiled as warmly as I could.

I had expected the kids would be shy, be naughty and wreck my neat table, cling to their mothers and not even look up at me, not talk, juts stare etc, etc. But it was none of the above. The boy peeked into the room, and ran out yelling, “I don’t want an injection!!” He thought he was at the doctor’s, as that was the only other place where he had seen a neat room, with table and chairs (as explained by his mother, later) Wonderful! I am not going to pick favorites but I like this one already!

After that I added chocolates, a few charts and reduced the number of papers on my table. I couldn’t possibly dirty the room, could I? I wondered.

Take a ride across Azamgarh U.P, go through all its little villages, small market places, the two things you will definitely find are- Shops selling cheap country liquor and Schools. Schools, with and without – rooftops, tables and chairs, proper lighting, teaching staff, etc. But yes, they have students. Everyone is sending their children to schools now. The level of learning, the methods used are however, very depressing.

What I have observed is that neither parents nor the schools wish to give up the old school of teaching. Yet along with it they want their children to become doctors and engineers too. They want the kids to study the holy scriptures, their mother tongues, and begin with it right from year one. Along with that, also learn English, math, science, and everything else that will be necessary for big degrees. This leads to the child having three to four languages along with math, science, etc from the very first year and I mean – Kindergarten! And in this process the child studies a lot and learns very little. A fear of learning is created through the weight of the bag and reinforced through spanking, that’s a norm.

All I could think of, after visiting schools and looking around is, “The realization that education is important and a necessity has reached here before the skill to teach and educate.”

I gave my last exam of BA on the 30^th of May, 2009, hoping and praying that it would be my final encounter with the University of Mumbai. I am still continuing with those prayers. Well, so my college was done with, and I had to think of, what next? And then came the long discussions with dad about the project we had in mind, and things began to take shape.

It was about a dream to start a school, a centre for overall development of a child. The place would be one that urgently needed a good school. I would be the teacher, mentor, guide, which I was hoping I would be able to be. After twenty years of a comfortable life and education it was time to take some real test.

And so travelling from home in Mumbai, I came to my ancestral hometown in Azamgarh, UP and together with dad, started ‘ZAF’s Model English School.’

I have read thousands of blogs, (well maybe not thousands, but a hundred atleast ^__^)  and they take up a lot of my not-so-busy life these days. When I decided to have my own web address and sat to search for one, the one thing that came to my mind immediately was how wordpress just gives blogs “Just another WordPress weblog” as tagline by default. And that is precisely what gave me the idea for my address.

My life can be practical,

yet a lot of fun.

Life can be monotonous.

yet different from everyones.

And life can be for others,

yet belong to none but you

and life can be meaningful,

yet, only a pursuit of truth.

Being a student of psychology, I have learned to value the distinct (maybe, not perfect) qualities and characteristics that make each one of us. I will try and post my thoughts and experiences here and would love to receive comments and feedback.

So, I am me, and will keep posting and oh! that’s why… keep visiting